Santa Banta Jokes:Santa in the class room

            Santa Banta  Jokes : Santa in the classroom
Teacher :Tell me five creatures that live in water.
Santa: frog.
teacher:four others?
santa:his mother,his father,his brother and his sister.

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Rajnikanth Jokes:Rajnikanth and his europe Tour

Rajnikanth Jokes: Rajnikanth and his Europe Tour

Once Rajnikanth went to Europe .It was very cold day .The whole land was covered with snow.There was two beggars were shivering there due to cold.You know Rajnikanth is very emotional he felt pity on them .So he took two ice cubes rubbed them and produces Fire.It made a big relax to beggars.

Moral of the story:"Rajnikanth can Produce fire by Rubbing two ice cubes"



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Funny Jokes:Children's Jokes

                 Kids Joke: Televison in Mathematics class
 Teacher:What are 2,8,9,11?
Chield:they are pogo cartoon network, Utv, colors.

                             Kids joke: Girl and her pray
A girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel: "Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!"
The priest inquired: "Why must you pray so, my child?"
Girl: "That's what I've written in my answer sheet in the examination!"

                 Kids Joke:Chield and his photographs
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. "

                           Kids Joke:Teacher And Pupil
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
Kids Joke: Teacher and Pappu
TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I". 
PAPPU : I is... 
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am." 
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
           
                  Kids Joke:Father And son
Son: "Daddy, why did you put your thumb impression on my progress report instead of your signature?"
Father: "I don't want your teacher to think that anyone with your marks could possibly have a father who can read or write."

Fynny Dialogues :Top 10 Bollywood Movie Funny Dialogues

1. Mooche ho to Nathulal jaise ho….warna na ho – Shaarabi –
 
2.Hum jaha pe khade ho jaate hein, line wahi se 
shuru hoti hai – Kaaliya

3.vI can talk in english, i can walk in english, i can run
 in english….because english is a phunny language – Namakhalal

4.Yeh Dhai kilo ka haath jab kisipe padtha hai na…toh
 aadmin ut-tha nahi ud jaata hai..
 
5.Prem chopda dialogues:
1)Gayi bhains paani main.
2)Nanga nahahyega kya or nichodega kya?
3)Mera Naam PREM CHOOPDAA hai

Shakti Kapoor: Aaain teli tya maa mal dayi hai?
 Nahin? To fil taali tyopn nai bajata? Det ta nahin hai 
hamale laja baabu ko kitna majaa aa raha hai?

6.Mukhtar Singh ka naam suna hai aapney? Nahin!!! 
Arrey Mukhtar singh vo aadmi hai jis se Police to police
 public bhee kaanpti hai..

7.GABBAR - Tera kya hoga, re Kaliya ?
Kaliya -  Maine to aapka namak khaaya hai, Sarkar..
GABBAR - To aab goli bhi kha le...

Romantic Dialogues: Top 10 Romantic Movie Quotes

                         TOP 10 ROMANTIC HOLLYWOOD MOVIE QUOTES
1."I guarantee that we'll have tough times. and I guarantee that at some point,one or both us will want to get out.BUT I also guarantee that if i don't ask you to be mine,I'll regret it for rest of my life.Because I know in my heart you are the only one for me." Julia Roberts from Movie Runway Bride
2."I live you.You... complete me."  -Tom Cruise from movie Jerry  Maguier  

3."Perhaps it is good to have a beautiful mind,But an even greater gift is to discover a beautiful heart."    from Movie -A Beautiful Mind

4. "The best love is the kind that awakens the soul makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds and that is what you have given me."  -From Movie- The Notebook

5. “Make of our hands one hand. Make of our hearts one heart. Make of our vows one last vow. Only death will part us now.”  From Movie-West Side Story
6. “I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.”  From Movie- LORD OF THE RINGS

 7.“If I could ask God one thing, it would be to stop the moon. Stop the moon and make this night and your beauty last forever.”   From Movie- A KNIGHT’S TALE

 8.I’m Scared That If I Lose My Heart I Won’t Be Able To Love You The Same
From movie- Untaimed Heart


9.“Love does not end when we don’t see each other.”  Sara Miles, The End of the Affair


10.
“If there’s any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something. I know, it’s almost impossible to succeed, but…who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt.”- Julie Delpy, Before Sunrise


Inspirational stories

                        Inspirational stories:Girl and the Guy
Once A girl was going to market .On the way he found a ten year old Muslim boy was weeping.He asked him the reason.Boy told him that his father threw him out because he failed in exam. Girl went his father and tried to convince him. Father was very cold hearted so he Doesn't ready to keep the boy.
Finally the girl take big step she took the boy with him at home she convinced her parent .Her parents were sincere so they kept the guy with them.

Moral Of The Story:

"We
should help each other beyond the limits of cast religion and color."


                 Inspirational Story:Mountain climbing
A son and his father were walking on the mountains. Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: "AAAhhhh!!!" To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: "AAAhhhh!!!" Curious, he yells: "Who are you?" He receives the answer: "Who are you?" And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!" The voice answers: "I admire you!" Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!" He receives the answer: "Coward!" He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?" The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention." Again the man screams: "You are a champion!" The voice answers: "You are a champion!" The boy is surprised, but does not understand. Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.



Moral Of The Story:
"As you sow so shall you reap"


Funny Chieldren stories

     Funny Story: Old man and his Delhi visit.

An old man went to visit Delhi with  very small money. he was very hungry but he have not much money finally he decided to go to hotel. he ordered for  milk .after drinking a little he said there is no sugar in The milk.Waiter gave him sugar after  eating sugar old man became his started behaving like a mad man .A few minutes later became unconscious waiter threw him on Road. A Few minute later he waked and started his Delhi visit.

Funny Liners : hilarious quotes

"One liner quotes some times says a deep meaning thing in a line some time . here we have represented a collection of hilarious o liners comments and quotes which will surely make you laugh and fun"

Very funny Quote:
There is no stupid questions just stupid peoples.

Hilarious liner:
Every one is entitled to their own opinion.It's just that yours is stupid.

funny Liner:
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he think.

Awesome Liner:
People says Microsoft paid 14 million dollars for using the Rolling Stones song "Start me up" in their commercials. This is wrong. Microsoft paid 14 million dollars only for a part of the song. For instance, they didn't use the line "You'll make a grown man cry

Good comment Liner:
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and [Unix] BSD. We don't believe this to be a coincidence

Hilarious Jokes: Question answer jokes

Q. What have a Rubix cube and a penis got in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q. What's the difference between your pay cheque and your dick?
A. Your wife will always blow your pay cheque!

Q. What four words can be used to deflate a man's ego?
A. "Is it in yet?"

Q: What do you call two Spaniards playing basketball?
A: Juan on Juan

Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
A: The position of the dirt bag.

Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: All things worth having are expensive.

Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
A: Doughnuts.

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour

Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A: Both of them.

Q: What's the difference between a man and a lawnmower?
A: Lawnmowers don't bitch after they cut the grass.

Q: What would get your man to put down the toilet seat?
A: A sex-change operation.

Q: What do men think the only difference is between Father's Day and those other 364
days?
A: The card.

Q: Why did God create man?
A: She didn't. Her husband did.

Q: What happens when a man opens his zipper?
A: His brains fall out.

Q: Why do women fake orgasm?
A: Because men fake foreplay!

Q: What do you have when you've got 2 little balls in your hand?
A: A man's undivided attention

Funny Joke: English Teacher

An English teacher writes, “I ain't had no fun in months” on the black board.
She then asks her class, “OK, how should I correct that?”
The class wag replies, “Miss, Miss. Get yourself a new boyfriend!”

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Funny Jokes: blonde dieting

A terribly overweight blonde goes to see her doctor for some help with dieting.
“I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2
weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds.” Says the doc.
When the blonde returns she shocks the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds!
“That's amazing!” says the doc. “Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nods, “I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to die on the third day.”
“What from hunger?” asks the doc.
“No.” says the Blonde. “From all that bloody skipping!”
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Pregnant Lady

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin,so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move,the man burst out laughing,she complain to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)what he had to say for himself. The man replied,'well your honor,it was like this. When the lady got on the bus,i couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said,'The Double Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,'Logan's Liniment will reduce the Swelling',and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,'Williams Big Stick Did the Trick',and I could hardly contain myself. But your honor,when she move the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,'Goodyear Rubber could have prevent this Accident!'i just lost it. CASE WAS DISMISSED!!!!
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article to learn english

A boy considers him self very smart. He wrote article for those who does not know english.
"HOW TO LEARN  ENGLISH"
but you know in which language he wrote this article???
It was ............english


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Three pasters

3 pastors met and were discussing, their weaknesses to each other: 1st my problem is stealing. I just cant stop stealing from the church's money and if any church members found out, it would b disastrous. The 2nd pastor said his own problem is adultery, I've slept with almost every woman in the church married & unmarried, church members must never find out. The 3rd pastor said,my problem is I just can't keep a secret no matter how I try....
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Woman cloth in laundry

A woman sends her clothing out to the laundry one a week.  When they come back she notices there are still stains on her knickers.
So next week she encloses a note to the
laundry that says, "Please use more soap on knickers."
This goes on for several weeks, the woman sending the same note to the laundry.
Finally, fed up with the notes the laundry replies, "Please. Use more paper on arse!"

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Rugby Player And Coach

A Huge Guy goes to try out for his University Rugby Team.
coach:Can You Tackle?
Guy:"Sure,Watch this,"the freshman replies
,as he ran smack intoa telephone pole,
shattering it to splinter.
Coach:wow! im'm impressed. Can you run?
Guy:"Of course," says the freshman, as speeds off like a bolt of lightning and completes a
hundred yard dash in 10 seconds.
Coach:"That's great,“ says the coach with enthusiasm,” but can you pass a rugby ball?”Rolling his eyes and hesitating for a moment,
Guy: "Hey, if I can swallow
it, I can pass it!"
 
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Teacher And Student

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Mom and dad were
fighting.
Teacher: They were fighting, so
why are you late?
Student: One shoe was with dad
and the other was with mom
.
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Student and teacher

Teacher: Whoever answers my next questions can go home.
A boy throws his bag out of window.
Teacher: Who threw the bag?
Boy: Me, and I am going home. :)

Why We Sometimes Write "Etc" In Exams?
Because It Means.
.
.
.
E-End Of
T-Thinking
C-Capacity

But Teacher Won't Ever Understand Our Feelings


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Fighting Ladies joke

 Two ladies fighting for a seat in a bus.Conductor: Lady who is more aged should sit here.Both looked at each other and the seat remained empty.

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How Michal Jackson Learned Dancing

Once Rajnikanth was dancing in his room ,A guy peeped inside the room & see the Rajnikanth dancing for a moment........
.
Later that guy become famous as Michael Jackson...
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Rajnikanth And His Finger As Missile

Once Rajnikanth got injured his finger,
so Doctor cuts it down
a guy picked it up
and launched it as missile 
later that guy become missile man of India DR.A.P.J.Abdul Kalam 

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Rajnikanth and his Laterin

once santa went @ rajni's home, rajni was in his laterine
after afew minutes later rajni comes out , now santa was amzed to see laterine and said
"wow what a swimming pool may i take a bath here"
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