Funny Joke: English Teacher

An English teacher writes, “I ain't had no fun in months” on the black board.
She then asks her class, “OK, how should I correct that?”
The class wag replies, “Miss, Miss. Get yourself a new boyfriend!”

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Funny Jokes: blonde dieting

A terribly overweight blonde goes to see her doctor for some help with dieting.
“I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2
weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds.” Says the doc.
When the blonde returns she shocks the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds!
“That's amazing!” says the doc. “Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nods, “I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to die on the third day.”
“What from hunger?” asks the doc.
“No.” says the Blonde. “From all that bloody skipping!”
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