Mast vegeterian jokes in hindi

Pure hind vegetarian Santa And Banta jokes

Banta: why are you hospitalised?

Santa: Padosan ki BILLI mere MURGE ke peeche padi hui thi. Maine uske husband ko english me bataya, Usne mujhe bahut maara....

Banta: Aisa kya bataya..?
Santa: "Control your wife's pussy. She is after my cock..


Pure Hindi vegetarian  girl and boy joke

Girl calls Boy
"Ghar pe koi nai hai. Aa jaao, Aish karenge"
Boy (shockd)
"Abhi to tere saath 2 baar kar ke
lauta hu?"
Girl: Oh, Sorry phir se tumhe hi lag Gaya X_X X_

Vegetarian teacher and student joke

Maths sir:what is a 'line'?
genius ansrd:A line is a dot,going for a walk!

Sir again:so wat r parallel lines?
A dot going walk wid his girlfrnd.:p;):)

Teacher lawyer and nurse jokes

Never kiss a Lawyer, she will say
: 'I Object'
Never kiss a Nurse, she will say
: 'Next'
Always kiss a Teacher, she will say
'Do It 5 Times n Revise It Tomorrow..

old lady and prostitute in prison joke

--> A young teenage girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.
Sure enough, Grandma... noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.
"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I justremove my dentures and suck 'em dry!"

jokes on smokers

-Smokers Must read (y) :D
Lady: Do you smoke?
Man: Yes
Lady: How many packs a day?
Man: 3 packs
Lady: How much per pack
Man: $10.00 Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Man: 15 years
Lady: So 1 pack cost $10.00 and you have 3 packs a
day which puts your spending each month at $900.
In one year, it would be$10,800 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: If in 1 year you spend$10,800 not accounting
for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at
$162,000 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that
money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound
interest for the past 15 years, you could have now
bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you smoke?
Lady: No
Man: Where's your Ferrari then? :p
Smokers (y) :D =))->

Funny story of an indian , american and a chinese


एक बीयर बार में बीयर से भरे एक मग में एक मक्खी गिर जाने पर...

ब्रिटिश नागरिक : मग फेंककर वहां से चला जाता है...

अमेरिकी नागरिक : मक्खी फेंककर बीयर पी जाता है...

चीनी नागरिक : मक्खी खाकर, बीयर पी लेता है...

हिन्दुस्तानी नागरिक :- मक्खी चीनी नागरिक को बेच देता है, बीयर अमेरिकी नागरिक को, और फिर अपने लिए दूसरी बीयर खरीदता है...

पाकिस्तानी नागरिक :- बीयर के मग में मक्खी पहुंच जाने के लिए हिन्दुस्तानी नागरिक को ज़िम्मेदार ठहराता है, उस मुद्दे को कश्मीर से जोड़ता है, चीनी नागरिक से सैन्य मदद मांगता है, और अमेरिकी नागरिक से दूसरी बीयर के लिए उधार मांगता है..

girl and boy joke on shopping

Girl : Im not feeling well Today
Boy : Oh! Thatz too bad,
I thought of taking you for shopping Today

Girl : I was joking

Boy : Me too.:)

girl and boy when boy says for shopping to girl

Santa and Mukesh ambani joke

Mukesh Ambani-
Agar main subah se apni car me niklu to sham tak apni aadhi property bhi nahi dekh sakta,
Santa- Hamare paas bhi aisi khatara car thi, Bech di

Santa Banta joke in hindi:

मुकेश  अम्बानी :- बोला अगर मैँ अपनी कार से निकलूँ तो शाम तक अपनी आधी प्रोपर्टी भी नहीँ देख सकता ।
संता -मेरे पास भी ऐसी खटारा कार थी बेच दी । :P

Einstine VS Mr. Bean jokes

Mr. Bean v/s Einstein:
Einstein & Mr.Bean sitting next to each other on a long flight..
Einstein says,"Let's play a game.. I will ask you a question,if you don't know the answer,you pay me only $5 and if I don't know the answer,I will pay you $500.."

Einstein asks the first question: What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon..?

Mr.Bean doesn't say a word,reaches his pocket,pulls out a $5..

Now,it's Mr.Bean's turn..

He asks Einstein: What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down on 4 legs..?

Einstein searches the net and asks all his smart friends.. After an hour he gives Mr.Bean $500..

Einstein going nuts and asks: Well,so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four..?

Mr.Bean reaches his pocket and gives Einstein 5$

Killing English

1. Principal To Student..." I Saw U Yesterday Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling Cigarette... ? "

2. Class Teacher Once Said :" Pick Up The Paper And Fall In The Dustbin!!!"

3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm Going Out Of The World To America.."


5. Don't..Laugh At The Back Benches...Other­wise Teeth And All Will Be Fallen Down.....

6. It Was Very Hot In The Afternoon When The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To Switch The Fan On, But There Was Some Problem. And Then She Said " Why Is Fan Not Oning" (Ing Form Of On)

7. Teacher In A Furious Mood... Write Down Ur Name And Father Of Ur Name!!

8. "Shhh... Quiet... The Principal Is Revolving Around College"

9. My Manager Started Like This "Hi, I Am Madhu, Married With Two Kids"

10. "Will U Hang That Calendar Or Else I'll HANG MYSELF"


12. Chemistry HOD Comes And Tells Us... "My Aim Is To Study My Son And Marry My Daughter"

13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents Especially Mother And Father

14. "Why Are You Looking At The Monkeys Outside When I Am In The Class?!"

15. Lab Assistant Said This When My Friend Wrote Wrong Code.. "I Understand. You Understand. Computer How Understand??

16. Seeing The Principal Passing By, The Teacher Told The Noisy Class.. "Keep Quiet, The Principal Has Passed Away"

17. Once Teacher Told "If U Talk So Loudly I Will Stand Uping U"

18. Teacher To Students:Don't Spit Outside, The Understanding People Will Suffer

19. I Have 3 Daughters, All Are girls:

hindi joke: pappu and the jyotishi

Pappu jyotshi ji ke Pass Kundli
Dikhane Gaya.
Baba - Tera Naam Pappu Hai ?
Pappu - Ha, Maharaj
Baba - Teri Biwi ka Naam Dolly
Pappu - Ha, Maharaj.
Baba - Teri 2 Betiya Hai ?
Pappu - Ha, Maharaj.
Baba - Tune Abhi 10 Kg. Chawal
Kharide hai ?
Pappu - Ha, Maharaj. Aap To
Antaryami hai Maharaj.
Baba - Dafa ho Ja Haramkhor
Yahan se, Agli Baar KUNDLI lana,
Ration Card Nahi.


Oldman and boy joke on about her daughter

--> Once An Oldman was waitng 4 Train..
Boy:What's the Time?
Oldman: Sorry
Boy: Time?
Boy: Why?
Oldman: If i tel u the time, u will ask me my name, my job etc
Then both of us will b
May b u get seat beside me.
U may go 2 same city..
My daughter will come 2 reciev me.
She is beautiful U both may fall in love
Den she might insist to marry u
I'm sorry I dont want a son in- law
who doesnt even have a
watch! ..
Boy: Bohot harami ho uncle aap.. =D =))

Joke on excessive use of facebook


A boy's facebook status
I'm Online on Fb during
Lecture hahaha...
Comment from his professor:
"Get out of the Class now"
Principal Liked comment! ;-)
Friend commented:
"Jaldi aa yaar, cafe mein item
hai" :D
Gate keeper's comment:
"Saab pehle idhar aa ke apni
bike Lock kardein" :P
Mom commented:
"Nalayak class nahi karni toh
sabzi Le ke
seedha ghar wapis aa.." :P

Dad commented:

Dekhlo apne betay ki

Girlfriend commented:

I Hate U! Mujhse kaha tha
Daddi ka accident hogaya wo
hospital mein hai..
Mil nahi sakta...

Daddi commented:

Manhoos tu ghar aa batati hun
tujhe nalayak... :D

"Funny Joke :excessive use of  Facebook .In this Joke is based on the idea that a boy was using facebook in the class at the same time all of his friends professor parents were online this is a funny facebook comedy situation"


Love sms for valentines day

Let's share the world a sea is for u,and waves are for me.The sun is for u,and light is for me.The sky is for u,and stars are for me.

valentines day quoted love picture

u could never guess
how much happiness
u've brought my way

happy valentine's day

valentines day quoted love picture

u are unique
u are caring and
u are the best.And i am the luckiest 2 have u in my life Happy valentine's day my sweet heart

When You Realize

Valentines Day is

Approaching Fast
The 0nly 0ne Who Loves
You Is Your PET.

Ever since u walked in2 my life my meaning of life has changed i have rearranged my entire way of looking  things n all of this is bcoz of u

Love and friendship are two sides of a coin. Make friends. Wishing Happy Valentine Day to all of them who are a part of my life.

Love seethe not itself to please, nor for itself hath any care,but for another gives its ease, and builds a Heaven in Hells despair.

Funny Valentine Where are you? How will you come to me? In a red box, the softness of A teddy bear or the tenderness of A kiss

Love is not finding someone to live with, Its finding someone you cant live without.Happy Valentines Day

Romantic Rain poetry

Pain and Rain have a strong Relationship..
When you are in deep pain, u cry like a heavy rain
When you see Rain
you miss your loved ones and feel the same pain...!
romantic picture of couple in rain

Romantic poetry for rain to walk

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