Blonde Jokes : A vast collection of Blonde jokes


Q: How do you keep a BLONDE busy all day?
 A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.\

 Q: How did the BLONDE die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.

 Q: How do you get a BLONDE to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.

Q: What does a BLONDE ask the doctor, in the maternity ward?
 A: "Is it mine?" Q: How does a blonde moonwalk? A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!

 Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
 A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.

Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
 A: "Nice tits!"

 Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
 A: Reservations.

 Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.

Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
 A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.

 Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
 A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on.It's off.

 Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
A1: They both have a black box.
 A2: Both have a cockpit.

Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.

 Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?
A: Air bubbles.

 Q: What do you call a room full of blonde women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections?
A: A whine and cheese party!

 Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian?
 A: A waste.
Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A: An air mattress.

 Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? '
A: An Air Bag.

 Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

 Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

 Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
 A: Divorcee'

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
 A: A visitor.



Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

 Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.

Q: Why did god give blondes 2% more brains than horses?
A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree
? A: Wave to her.

Q: How does the blond turn on the light after she has had sex?
A: She opens the car door.

 Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
 A: And I thought blondes were dumb!

Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
 A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart)
A2: By doing the splits.

 Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, "Next".
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares? A7: The batteries have run out.

 Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? '
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!

Q: How does a blonde prefer her eggs?
A: Unfertilized.


Q: How do you drown a blond?
 A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
 A2: Don't tell her to swallow. A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

 Q: How does a blonde give a high-five?
 A: She smacks herself in the forehead.

 Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.

 

Collection Of Best Blonde Jokes

Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
 A: A know-it-all bitch.

Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde?
A: One's a phony buck.



Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.

What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back!

Long Blonde jokes

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

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