Funny adult jokes in hindi and english mix

Funny joke on transparent condom

Q: Why are condoms transparent?

A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!

------------------------

Funny Joke Prostitute house sign board

Signboard outside a prostitute's house: Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...

------------------------

Funny AIDS awareness slogan adult quote

New AIDS awareness slogan: Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position with different women.

------------------------

Funny Saying About Sex

Why is sex like shaving ? Well, because no matter how well you do it today... tomorrow you'll have to do it again...

------------------------

aDULT QUESTION IN HINDI

Q: What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster? A: Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death.

------------------------

Funny Logic Quote ON BOOBS SIZE

Q: Why do 90% gals have left boob bigger than right? A: Bcoz 90% boys are right handed.

------------------------

Q: What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR & a STAGE CURTAIN? A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... it's SHOWTIME!!!

------------------------

Funny responses after seks by different type womens

Response after sex

1) call girl; paise

2) girl frends; jaldi kapde do

3) padosan; fir kab aoge

4) wife; ab 2 din kuch mat bolna

5) kamwali; ab to pagar bada do..

------------------------

Suhagrat funny hindi joke


Suhag raat ko dulha bola: Priye bolo, aaj tujhe chand pe le jaun ya taaron me?
Dulhan: Pehle apna Rocket dikhao, phir decide karungi.

------------------------

Kuware sochte hai k shadishuda ache h
Shadishuda sochte hai k kuware ache h
Fark sirf itna hai ki Shadishuda din m sochte hai or kuware raat ko...

------------------------

Amazing idea girlfriend boyfriend joke

Boyfriend1:- can i touch your boobs
Girlfriend1 :- Shut up!!!!
Boyfriend2 :- can i touch ur heartbeats
Girlfriend2 :- ooooh!! how sweet!!

Rishta wahi soch nai

------------------------

Teacher: Machchhar k Katne Se Maleria hota hai Aids kyu Nahi ?

Student: Qki Machchhar Dunk Marta hai Gaand nahi. Aage se Bakchodi Wale Sawal mat Puchhna.

------------------------

LIC launches a new sexy Policy Jeevan Sambhog In partnership with MANFORCE condoms and UNWANTED-72
The new punch line:- Thokne ke Saath Bhi, Thokne ke Baad Bhi.

------------------------

Funny Hindi joke shopkeeper girl and his boobs

Shop pe Ladki ne 36 ki Bra li or trial room me kameez uttar ke dukandar ko andr bulaya.

Dukandar ne Boobs dekh ke chusna shuru kar diye jin pe behoshi ki dawa lagi hui thi, Wo behosh ho gaya.

Ladki ne shop ka tamam Cash liya & jate hue shishe pe likh gai:

Khula Dudh Sehat ke lie Hanikarak Hai !!

------------------------

Girl and shopkeeper joke on condom

Girl: condoms Dena..
Shopkeeper(masti main): kis liyeeeeee
Girl(Gusse se): Tere baap ko gift karungi, taki tere jaisa dusra CHUTIYA paida na kare....

------------------------

Funny adult  joke in english :Intimacy with malaysian

Aftr Sex,Man ws Relaxng on bed wid butiful Girl in Thailnd,SHE spent long time playng wid his penis
Man-U Like it so much?
Grl- Ya, I miss mine aftr Surgery.
Gudmorning beepers.. :*

Funny adult joke in hindi :Impotent husband

Ek aurat Dr Se: “Mera Pati 300% Napusank Hai”
Doctor Hairan Hoke: “Arrey, Wo Kaise?”
Aurat Rote Hue Boli: “Ek To Uska Khada Nahi Hota. Dusara Uski Ungli Bhi Tuti Hai. Teesra KalUs Bhenchod Ne Garam Garam Chai Pee Ke Apni Jibh Bhi Jala Li.“

funny joke on big boobs size in hindi

Ek Moti Lady Ek Bar Bazar Mein Bra Lene Gayi, Aur Dukan Par Jake Bra Dekhne Lagi.
Dekhte Dekhte Achanak Boli: “Bhaiya, Wo Wali Bra Mere Size Ki Lagti Hai, Dikhana Zara”
Dukandar: “Maff Karna Bahanji, Wo Bra Nahi, Mere Scooter Ki Steppney Ka Cover Hai“

Fuuny sms :innocent guy

Pappu: “Mom, Aap Blouse Mein PaiseKyun Rakhti Ho?”
Mom: “Taaki Tere Papa Ko Pata Na Chale”
Pappu: “Mom Aap Bhi Na, Bechare Papa Roz Kaamwali Ke Blouse Mein Dhoondte Rahte Hai“

adult hindi jokes lady and baba

Ek Dukhi Lady Baba Ke Pas Gayi Aur Boli
Lady: “Baba Mera Pati Kab Sudhrenga?”
Baba: “Pati Ko Layi Ho?”
Lady: “Nahi.”
Baba: “Koi Baat Nahi, Apna Blouse Kholiye”
Lady: “Kyun?”
Baba: “Bachha, Pati Ki Hath Ki Rekhayein Dekhni Hai Na“

Hindi sexy joke on suhagrat

Apni Suhagrat Ko Pati Achhe Tarike Se Sex Kar Nahi Paya
Subha Dulhe Ki Maa Ne Bahurani Se Puchha
Saas: “Bahu, Suhagrat Kaisi Rahi?“
Bahu Udasi Se: “Maa Ji Kya Batau, Grah Parvesh To 2 Baar Hua, Par Grah Shanti Nahi Ho Paayi“

Girls hostel adult sms in hindi

Girl Hostel Me Ek Phone Aaya – “Meena Hai Kya?”
Warden Ne Pucha – “Piche Kya Lagati Hai Wo?”
Phone Wala – “Ab Tho Pata Nahi Ji Par Pehle Sarson Ka Tel Lagati Thi“

child and scientist funny adult sms joke in hindi

Aeroplane me ek scientist aur ek bachha sath baithe the
Sct:- Kuchh baat kare , time paas ho jayega
Boy:-Kis topic par
Sct:-Nuclear power par
Boy: Theek
he,magar pehle mere ek sawal ka jawab do ki jab Bakra, Bhaisa aur Gadha, teeno ghaas khate h,
phir Bakre ka Lund itna chhota q?
Bhaise ka itna mota q? aur
Gadhe ka itna lamba q hota h?
Sct:-what nonsense, mujhe nhi pta
Boy: bhosdiwale Pata tujhe Lund ka nhi or Baatein nuclear power ki chodni hai

Popat ka Pinjra
20 Rupaye me".
Popat ka Pinjra. 20 Rupaye me ...ek aadmi road side chilla raha tha
1Aurat ne pas ja kar dekha,
aur
wapas aayi.

Dusri: Kya huwa?

Patni: Haramkhor Kameena!

"UNDER WEAR"
bech raha hai.

Response after sex

1) call girl; paise

2) girl frends; jaldi kapde do

3) padosan; fir kab aoge

4) wife; ab 2 din kuch mat bolna

5) kamwali; ab to pagar bada do..

Suhag raat ko dulha bola: Priye bolo, aaj tujhe chand pe le jaun ya taaron me?
Dulhan: Pehle apna Rocket dikhao, phir decide karungi.

Kuware sochte hai k shadishuda ache h
Shadishuda sochte hai k kuware ache h
Fark sirf itna hai ki Shadishuda din m sochte hai or kuware raat ko...

girlfriend and boyfriend adult and sexy jokes in hindi on touching boobs

Boyfriend1:- can i touch your boobs
Girlfriend1 :- Shut up!!!!
Boyfriend2 :- can i touch ur heartbeats
Girlfriend2 :- ooooh!! how sweet!!

Rishta wahi soch nai

Teacher and student hindi sexy jokes on condom

Teacher: Machchhar k Katne Se Maleria hota hai Aids kyu Nahi ?

Student: Qki Machchhar Dunk Marta hai Gaand nahi. Aage se Bakchodi Wale Sawal mat Puchhna.

LIC launches a new sexy Policy Jeevan Sambhog In partnership with MANFORCE condoms and UNWANTED-72
The new punch line:- Thokne ke Saath Bhi, Thokne ke Baad Bhi.



Girl: condoms Dena..
Shopkeeper(masti main): kis liye -e-e-e
Girl(Gusse se): Tere baap ko gift karungi, taki tere jaisa dusra CHUTIYA paida na kare....

A boy comes to his class with broken spectacles ...

Teacher: What happened?

Boy: I was kissing my Girlfriend.

Teacher: But how did your spectacles break?

Boy: She closed her legs!!

What's the difference between a man & a woman ...

A man always has the same DICK between his legs all his life ...

A woman MAY NOT!!

Wife: Nashta kar lo.

Husband: Sex hi mera nashta hai & he starts sex.

Dopahar ko wife: Lunch kar lo.

Husband sex hi mera lunch hai & starts sex.

Raat ko jab husband aata hai to wife panty utaar kar
heater ke aage baithi hoti hai.

Husband: What is this?

Wife: Hawas ke poojari, khana garam kar rahin hoon!!

After operation, a girl to Dr: How soon can I resume my sex life?

Dr: You are the first patient to ask this question after tonsil operation!!

Sexy Lady goes to male gynae and says: Dr, a fly has entered my vagina.

Dr: There is only one solution. I can apply some honey on my penis and insert in your vagina. The fly will stick to penis and thus we can take it out.

Lady: Go ahead.

Dr starts.

After five minutes, sexy lady asks: Kya hua Dr, fly kab bahaar niklega?

Dr: Plan changed. I am going to drown him..

Girl and  boy adult joke on bra

Boy- U R wearing Red Bra ?
Girl - How do u know?
Boy-Thanx 2 RAJNIKANT Eyecare!
Girl-U r not wearing underwear
Boy - Hey U too RAJNIKANT eyecare!
Girl - Chain laav aai Zavadya.
Tuza RAJNIKANT baher alaay.

Arz Kiya H

Jise Aane me Lgte H 15 Saal,

Gaur Farmaiyega.

Wah Wah, !!!
"Sun to Le Bhosdi ke"

Jise Aane me Lgte H 15 Saal,

Use Kehte H Jhaat K Baal...

Suhaag Raat Me Wife :
Muje Gabhrahat ho rahi Hai..

Husband : Tumhari PehLi Raat hai na IsLiye ?

Wife : Nahi Ji Raat me Pehli Baar hai IsLiye.

Pati: Sex ho jaye?
Wife:Nahi
Pati: Zewar la dunga
W:Nahi
Pati: Car launga
W:Nahi
Beta so raha tha..beech me bola: Papa meri gand mar lo par CYCLE la do...

Ladki to Dr: Bachcha 2 din se doodh nhi pi raha
Dr ne Bra me hath daala aur kafi der taK bobbs ko masal ke bola
Doodh hi nai hai
Ladki:"Main to iski Mausi hoon"

Wife: Please zara ye bra ka hook laga dijiye.
Hus: I will charge 4 kisses.
Wife: Rahne do, padosi Se free me lagva leti hu, wo haath daal kar Set bhi kar denge.

CONDOM salesman:
Condom chahiye kya???

Marwadi: kam bhav ka khushbudar rahega to de.

Salesman:
Laude pe agarbatthi ka plastic lagake chod Bhosdike...

MAUN-VRAT ke dinl
Wife ne Boobs hilake dikhaya
Husbd ne apna bahar nikal k dikhaya
Wife guse me-Mera matlb hai dudwala kab ayega
Hsbd: mera mtlab hai 1 Ghante me

Girl: What do u prefer? Breasts or Legs??
Kuljit: Choot..!
.
Girl slaps & says: "Randi Khana nahi hai Bhosdi ke, KFC ka counter hai ye"..

Jeevan ki 3 Hakiikat.

School ki Ghanti.
Garib ka Darwaja.
Jawan Ladki.

INKO JAB BHI THOKOGE

BACCHE HI BAHAR NIKLENGE !

The Most emotional line said by a girl to a boy after break-up-

"Jaanu, hilaate waqt to yaad karoge na ?

Ladki mandir me prasad lekar pandit k pair chhukar boli
koi gyan ki baat btao.

Pandit= Beti"Bra pehna karo"jhukti ho to
dhyan aur gyan
dono ki Maa chud jati he !!

Call Girl (to 68 years old man): "Uncle,
aap ek baar try karo na!"

Uncle: "Main KAR nahi paaunga."

Call Girl: "Arre, aao na uncle, try to karo!"

Uncle aa gaye aur callgirl pe toot pade aur uski almost faad dali.

Call Girl: Haaye mar gayi. Aap to bol rahe the-
"kar nahi paaunga"

Uncle: "Wo to main PAYMENT ke baare me bol raha tha.

Salim: Anarkali,CAN I HAVE SEX WITH U?
Anarkali: Aapne bahut badi cheez maang li jahanpanah.
Salim: Agar woh cheez bahut badi ho chuki ho, toh phir rehne do..

mada and sabjiwala desi joke on money in blouse

Sabziwala: Madam yeh 500 ka note blouse se nikaala hai kya?
Madam: Haan, par apko kaise pata chala?
Sabziwala: Gandhiji ka munh abhi bhi khula hua hai!!!!!!!!!!!
------------------------------------

Adult jokeon black girl

A boy to a dark girl: Tum kitni kali ho!
The girl replies: Tere baap ka kya jata hai?
Boy: Agar mere baap ka jata to aap kali na hoti!!!!!!!!!!!

-------------------------------------

Girl boy adultjoke

Girl: Maa, bajuwale ladke ko dekh ke meri BRA tight ho jati hai.
Maa: Beti, ek baar bina BRA ke kameez pehen ke ja, uski pant tight ho jayegi.
------------------------------------

Girls watching movie adult sexy jokes

Two girls were returning from a movie.
1st: Mera purse chori ho gaya.
2nd: Per tu to bra mein rakhti thi.
1st: Mujhe kya pata saala chori kar raha hai.
------------------------------------

Kelewala and madam adult Desi joke

Kelewala: Kele, Le. Lo kele!
Madam: Arey bhaiya, kele to pilpile hai. Kadak aur lambe do!
Kelewala: Arey madam, kabhi to khane ke liye liyaa karo!
-----------------------------------
Desi joke in hindi

A hair cutting saloon shifted from ground floor to 1st floor.
A board was put by him: 'Neeche ke bal katane ki dukan upar hai.'
-----------------------------------

Husband and wife sexy joke in hindi

Biwi:Meri saheli aa rahi hai,mere sath soyegi.ap hall me so jaoge?
Husbnd:jb meri saheli aygi,
tab tum hall me sone ka vada karo
------------------------------------

Girlfriend and boyfriend adult jokes on sex

B.frnd : Sex ka maza ladke se zyada ladki ko kyu aata hai?
G.friend : Abe kabhi apne kaan me ungli dal ke hilana, fir sochna ki kaan ko zyada maza aya, ya ungli

Funny Adult Quotes in hindi English mix

Virginity is like a Balloon, One prick and it's gone for ever!
..............................................

Sex is like a pack of Chips, Once you start!
You can't stop!
..............................................

An Exam paper is like a Dick 🍌, When it's hard! People get fucked!
..............................................

Education is like hiring a prostitute, It needs both your money and your hardwork ...👤!
..............................................

💳Success is like masturbating, Only your own hand can let you achieve it!
..............................................

Life without Friends is like Boobs Without Nipples. IT'S POINTLESS !
..............................................

Fuck a woman and she Loves you. Love a woman when she Fucks you.
..............................................

MBBS Final Exam question paper: Fill in the blanks. If a woman faints, we must first check her pu_s_. Only few students who wrote: 'Pulse' passed.
..............................................

The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. They are sentenced to Hang Till Death!
..............................................

Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREASTS?
Girl: Its enough to help a Man's Boneless Thing stand up
..............................................

Give an example of Total Business Failure due to Negligence. A Pregnant Prostitute
..............................................

If Necessity is the Mother of Invention, Then Frustration is the Father of Masturbation!
..............................................

If your Boss says: Nothing is Impossible ask him to wear condom after sex!
..............................................

Desi Quote: All that Glitters is not Gold, Every Man with White Beard is not Old! ‪#‎Tejpal‬ ‪#‎Asaram‬
..............................................

Husband wife funny Adult joke on confession

Husband : Darling, I have 2 confess that when I’m having Sex with u, I some times think about other Women.
Wife - U Bastard... When I have Sex with OTHER Men, I always think about you.:
..............................................

Husband wife funny Adult joke

A wife plays tabla on husband's naked bum
Husband-Hey, what r u doing?
Wife-Just trying to be Zakir Hussain!
Husband changed position- Now try bismilah khan ...
..............................................

Funny joke on petrol prices

Petrol Badha, Hum Chup Rahe...
Diesel Badha, Fir Bhi Chup Rahe...
LPG Badha, Fir Bhi Kuch Nahi Bole !!!
Vegetables ke dam badh gaye, Fir bhi Hum chup rahe...
Par ab suna hai... DARU !!!

INQALAB ZINDABAD...!!!

posts You May Like

Jokes Categories