gabbar and sambha joke

Sambha: Sardar in DOSTO ka kya karu Jo msg nahi karte hai

Gabbar: Kuch nahi inke hath kaat do aur daily 3 blue film dikhao khud tadap tadap ke mar jayenge..

New year jokes


 Funny conversation joke between year 2012 and 2013

The following conversation ensued between 2012 & 2013...


2012: My son am tired.
2013: Why?
2012: My time is up, I will be going to join your forefathers.
2013: I know, U have less than 15 hours to live. I will miss U dad.
2012: But let me tell U some things before I go.
2013: What is it?
2012: Please when I go, make sure you take care of this person.
2013: Who?...
2012: The person reading (listening) to this conversation of ours?
2013: Okay
2012: I made some promises to this person during my reign, I fulfilled some, and some I couldn’t.
2013: But why couldn’t U fulfill all dad?
2012: Well, my son...sometimes­ time & human factors affected some of the promises.
2013: But...
2012: But surely, I spoke with God on this person's behalf, & God granted my wish in U to fulfill the rest promises. So these are the rest of the fulfillment U will carry out on this person.
2013: Go on dad...
2012: Stabilize this person's health without ceasing all through your reign! Open a direct link between our God & this person.
2013: Done, carry on
2012: Ensure that this person's dreams come to reality within the shortest time possible.
2013: Alright
2012: Give this person wealth that will touch lives of multitudes
2013: Surely
2012: Make sure that U remove all remaining hindrances to success from this person's way. I have being trying to make sure that money will never remain the priority of this person, so keep to that please, make sure U do it son!
2013: I will dad, no problem!
2012: Pay more emphasis on the advice of this person's friends, don't worry about that of this person's enemies, God will take care of that! Hope U understand what am saying?
2013: Yes.
2012: Finally, promise me that when your own time is up, U will instruct that your offspring after offspring (2014, 2015, 2016...to...210­0) to keep positive fulfillment of this person going!
2013: Yes dad, may God help me!
2012: Now I can pass to the beyond happily! May you be prosperous!!!
2013: Amen! Wishing U all a glorious 2013...

FIANCE JOKE

Teasing girlfriend and boyfriend joke

This joke is funny conversation of girl with his fiance. this is joke about calling sweet names by girlfriend and boyfriend to each other.


A LADY said to her FIANCE
now that we are engaged,we
should start calling each other
sweet pet names.
The man (uninterested) asked her
"so what do you
want to be calling me"? She
replied "i
will be calling you TIGER"... Why
tiger,the man asked..."becaus­ e
you are handsome,tall,
charming,strong­ ,
calculating,sma­ rt and very good
in BEDmatics" she said. Then in a
sexy tone,she asked him "what
will you be calling me"? The man
still
uninterested replied; "i will be
calling you
ZEBRA"...the lady still smiling
seductively and kissing his cheek
screamed "wow,that's lovely and
sweet"!
Why did you chose such a lovely
name for me"?...the man
responded "it's because of your
many STRETCH MARKS.

lawyer and client joke

This joke is based on meeting a lawyer to his client in prison


A lawyer walks into his client's death row cell and says, "I've got good news, and bad news for you."

The prisoner says, "Okay. What's the bad news?"

"The bad news is that the Governor won't issue a stay of your execution from the electric chair."

"Oh that's terrible. What possibly could be the good news?"

"The good news is that I got your voltage reduced!"

philosphy related jokes and story


A boy said to his father: "I saw a girl and I want to marry... her. She is so beautiful and she has gorgeous eyes.
The father answered his son: of course son, let’s ask for her hand in marriage."

When the father saw the girl, he admired her beauty and he told his son: "You don’t deserve this girl, she needs someone who has experience in life and she can depend on, someone like me."

The boy was surprised by the attitude of his father and he told him: "She will marry me, not you”.

They started to fight and finally they decided both to go to the police station to solve their problem.

When they tell their story to the police officer, he told them: "bring the girl so we can ask her about her opinion about this."

When the officer saw the beauty of the girl he said to the boy and his father: "you both don’t deserve her, she needs someone who has prestige like me."

The 3 men started a fight and decided to go to the minister to solve their problem.

When the minister saw the girl, he said: "She deserves to be married with a minister like me".

The prince heard about their problem and call them all to help them solve it but and when he saw the girl he said : "This girl will marry me".

All the 5 men started to fight.

Finally, the girl said, "I have the solution! I will start to run and whoever catches me first, he will be my husband”. When she started to run, the boy, his father, the police officer, the minister and the prince started to run to catch her. Suddenly the 5 men fell into a deep hole.

The girl looked to them from the top and she said “did you know who am I?”
I am the temporal world!!

People want to run to catch me, they are racing to have me. By doing that, they forget their God, until they end up in their grave and won’t have me....!

----------Dont forget God because he didnt forget to wake you up today.

Can I hear you say Amen!!!

new year party joke

Tips for 31st party:
(*) (*) (*) (*)

1) Start drinking at 5.30pm so by 12 ul still be in ur senses>=)

2) Hold your drink for minimum 20mins
*beer*
3) Don't eat anythg oily which leaves puky feeling,:&

4) Eat limited bitings,*dine*

5) Have sex or masturbate before gng to party this would keep your sexual desires little lower when u see hot guys and girls,:p

6) Having sex b4 party is also imp bcoz after party even spiderman, superman are not able to satisfy their partner and even charlies angels fail to satisfy their partners:*

7) Treat everybody with respect atleast till 3-4 drinksO:)

8) Avoid international languages and spk in local language after drinking bcoz, even if u r drunk u r still in ur own country.3-|

9) Most importantly don't drink and drive as police will act like NYPD tonight.=]()

10) If u find anythg fishy don't eat it, in morning u would come to know that u were vegeterian till 2012....:]xx

11) Most imp, don't celebrate in delhi
Enjoy and have a safe 31st.

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