top 20 funny and sexy jokes for facebook and whatsapp



Best funny And sexy Joke you have ever read

Santa running without cloths funny joke

Santa Road par nanga bhag raha tha.
Banta ne usse rok kar poocha: Arre bhai aisa kyun kar rahe ho,
 Kyun nange bhag rahe ho, tumhe sharam nahi aati?

Santa: Kyun ki aaj tum jaldi ghar aagaye, Issi liye.
(oh really santa is smart this time)


funny sexy joke on husband wife divorce case

Judge hearing a Divorce case
Judge to Husband: Why you want to divorce your wife?
Husband: I am not satisfied with her on bed
Judge to wife: what you have to say about this??
Wife: Whole colony is satisfied only this bastard has got problems.


Santa and lady police officer funny adult joke in hindi

Santa par adalat mein ek case chal raha tha...
Judge : Tumne lady police officer ko apna hathiyar kyu pakdaya?

Santa (rote huye) : Judge sahab meri koyi galti nahi hai,
ye mere ko boli kaam karvana hai to pehele mutthi garam karo,
So maine kardi....



Funny Joke :Dukhi Boss

Ek Dukhi Boss ki Kahani:

Kal mera Birthday tha !

Meri BiVi Bachcho ne mujhe wish nhi
kia ?

Mai office gaya kisi ne wish nhi kia,?

Mai apne cabin mei gaya Meri
Secretary ?
 Romantic style mei boli

"Happy Birthday" sweet Boss.

Mujhe bahut achcha lga

Phir usne mujhe apne Flat Pr bulaya
aur kaha ki aaj mai apko boht khush
karne wali hun?

She said:

Mai 2 minutes me Bedroom se aati hun
tb tk aap excitment ki tyari kr le?
Kuch deir baad wo 1 boht bade Cake
ke sath bahar aayi
Us ke peche meri BV ??, Bachche ??, maa ?
baap ? aur pura staff ????tha
.
.
.
Aur mai us Behn Chod
ke intezar me Sofay per Nanga Leta
Condom chada rha tha . .....?????????????
Ab isase funny kya loge?



Funny sexy joke Baap Beta and robot

Ek aadmi apne bete ke liye ek ROBOT laya, jo jooth bolne par THAPAD marta tha.

Beta: Papa aaj mai school nahi jaunga mere pet me dard hai (Sattaak�)

PAPA- Dekha tune jooth bola isliye tujhe saza mili, mai jab tere jitna tha to kabhi jooth nahi bolta tha. (Sattaak�)
.
Wife: (Haste huye boli) Aap hi ka beta hai.(Sattaak�)
.(Sattaak�) .(Sattaak�)



funny joke: suhagrat of newly married couple

Apni Suhagrat Ko Pati Achhe Tarike Se Sex Kar Nahi Paya
Subha Dulhe Ki Maa Ne Bahurani Se Puchha
Saas: “Bahu, Suhagrat Kaisi Rahi?“
Bahu Udasi Se: “Maa Ji Kya Batau, Grah Parvesh To 2 Baar Hua, Par Grah Shanti Nahi Ho Paayi“


Funny Joke:Macchar Dunk marta hai gaan... nhi


Teacher: Machchhar k Katne Se Maleria hota hai Aids kyu Nahi ?
Student: Qki Machchhar Dunk Marta hai Gaand nahi. Aage se Bakchodi Wale Sawal mat Puchhna.


Girl on condom Shop

Girl: condoms Dena..
Shopkeeper(masti main): kis liye -e-e-e
Girl(Gusse se): Tere baap ko gift karungi, taki tere jaisa dusra CHUTIYA paida na kare....


Gall Girl and Old Uncle Funny sexy joke 

Call Girl (to 68 years old man): "Uncle, aap ek baar try karo na!"
Uncle: "Main KAR nahi paaunga."

Call Girl: "Arre, aao na uncle, try to karo!"
Uncle aa gaye aur callgirl pe toot pade aur uski almost faad dali.

Call Girl: Haaye mar gayi. Aap to bol rahe the-
"kar nahi paaunga"
Uncle: "Wo to main PAYMENT ke baare me bol raha tha


Salim Anarkali Funny joke on Seks

Salim: Anarkali,CAN I HAVE SEX WITH U?
Anarkali: Aapne bahut badi cheez maang li jahanpanah.
Salim: Agar woh cheez bahut badi ho chuki ho, toh phir rehne do


Funny Hindi Sexy Joke Mai Kaise paida hua

"पापा मैं कैसे पैदा हुआ"?
पापा - बेटा मैं और तेरी मम्मी पहली बार Yahoo Chat Room में मिले थे। फिर हमने एक Cyber Cafe में पहली मुलाकात थी। तुम्हारी मम्मी के Software देखकर मेरे Hardware को प्यार हो गया। फिर हम एक कमरे में घुस गए क्योंकि हमारा CPU गर्म हो गया था। तुम्हारी मम्मी मेरे Pen Drive से Download करवाने को राज़ी हो गई। लेकिन जैसे ही मैं Upload करने लगा, मुझे अहसास हुआ कि हम लोगों ने न तो Anti-Virus का इस्तेमाल किया है और न ही Firewall का। अब तो इतनी देर हो चुकी थी कि Delete या Escape Button का इस्तेमाल करना भी मुमकिन नहीं था।

छः हफ़्तों बाद तुम्हारी मम्मी ने मुझे Internet पर Chat करके बताया कि उसका Operating System किसी Self-Extracting File के चलते Unauthorized Program Activity दिखा रहा था,

जिससे उसका System Slow हो गया था। वह Self-Extracting File तुम्हारी मम्मी के BIOS में Load थी। नौ महीने बाद एक Pop-Up दिखाई दिया, जिसमें लिखा था, You've Got Mail (Male)!


Funny Hindi Non veg Shayari

Lund pe aitbaar kisko hai…
Mil jaaye chodney ko to inkar kis ko hai…
Kuch mushkilen hai chut paane me dost
Warna muth marne se pyaar kisko hai…

papa and son funny sexy joke

 PAPA : vo kon si cheez hai jis k charoo taraf baal hotay hain
SON : papa may bataoo
PAPA :nahi tum chup rahoo
SON : may batata hoo ….. AANKH
PAPA : ohh haan
SON : to kya aap lun samajh rahay thay

funniest adult and sexy joke you have read in hindi

Ladka ladki ke baap se : Main aapki ladki ka haath mangta hoon.

Ladki ka baap : Kuyn. Ladka : Kyon ki ab mera hath thak gaya hai.


 sexy joke qualities of perfect husband

8 qualities of a Perfect Husband

Brave, Intelligent, Gentle

Polite, Energetic, Nutty, Industrious, Sensitive

And if all else fails, read the CAPITAL LETTERS only!


Girl and Boy Funny Adult joke about marrige date

Girl to boy: Shaadi k liye konsi date rakhien?

Boy: 22 December


Girl: Koi khaas wajah?


Boy: haan, Saal ki sabse lambi raat isi date ko hoti hai..


dentist and woman funny adult sexy jokes

Women to Dentist:

“Its so painful I’ll prefer to get Pregnant than getting my Cavity Filled.”


Dentist:


“Make a Decision, I’ll adjust the Chair Accordingly



funny adult jokes :teacher and pappu

Teacher to Pappu, Isko English main Translate karo:

Sara ne Kapray Pehan liye hain.


Pappu: Shit! I’m Late.

funny adult picture jokes

funny sexy joke santa and dhobi

Dhobi police se: Banta ne meri biwi ki Ijjat lut li!!

Banta: Main press karwane gaya tha,

Dhobi ne kaha main Khana kha raha hoon,

Istri garam hai, Maar lo!

Funny santa banta jokea bout safe sex

Santa: In all  ads, they talk of SAFE SEX.
What is SAFE SEX?
Banta: Oye, SAFE SEX is when wife is out of town! 


Funny sexy picture and image jokes



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