Funny Liners Quotes
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
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Q: How do you know when a plane if full of female passengers?
A: When it lands and they turn off the engine the whining doesn’t stop.
Q: What’s the definition of optimism?
A: An England Cricket Batsman that applies sun block before batting.
Q: How do we know that Dracula is a vampire?
A: In the census he stood up to be counted.
Q: What should you do if you’re a passenger is a car that’s acting funny?
A: Check the nut behind the wheel!
Q: What did the cannibal say as he ate an explorer?
A: Doctor Livingstone I consume!
Q: What do you give to a distressed lemon?
Q: A man is thinking about playing golf in the morning, so what did he do?
A: Play, in dew course.
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